The RantAccording to the internet, Montana means "mountain" in some other language. This makes sense until you realize that if you divide the state down the middle from north to south, the eastern half contains approximately zero mountains. This trait places Montana high in the rankings as the American state with the most confusing land allocation, geographically speaking, behind Texas, Michigan, and all of the Mid-Atlantic states.
Therefore, I've decided to formally propose that the state of Montana be divided into two separate states, with the western half retaining the name "Montana" and the eastern half being named "Planici" which, according to the internet, means "plain" in some other language. An acceptable alternative would be to re-define the borders of Montana to include the western half of the existing state, northwest Wyoming, and all of Idaho. That would be a state worthy of the name Montana. The left over parts of the former states of Montana and Wyoming could become part of the Dakotas or something. I'm sure that few people would notice, and even fewer would care about this change being made, which is good enough reasoning for me.
I arrived at the above conclusions during the early miles of the Don't Fence Me In 30k trail race last weekend in the foothills outside of Helena, which lies within both the currently accepted and newly proposed borders of the state of Montana. Apparently when I run, I spend my time thinking about the nonsense of American geography. I'm sure I'm not the only one.